6 wedding guest rules that no one says out loud
no judgements here
Being a wedding guest is, honestly, harder than it looks - especially given the amount of drama that it can create if you’re a bad wedding guest.
Most bad wedding guests don’t actually realise it, until it’s too late.
Often, the best wedding guests are the newlyweds - they’re the ones who recently went through a strenuous wedding planning journey so they know exactly what is good etiquette, bad etiquette, and just plain annoying.
Luckily, we’ve decoded this for you.
IF you’re brave enough - share this with your guests, lightheartedly, of course 🤭
being a good wedding guest 101
1) you are absolutely allowed to RSVP ‘no’
I promise you, the couple will not be offended if you can’t attend their wedding. Whether it be because of money, time, mental health, work - anything! If you’re close enough, everyone will be understanding.
Where most guests go horribly wrong is when you don’t decline on time.
When you feel awkward because you don’t know how to say no, you don’t want to upset anyone, and you just feel guilty - you’re headed into bad wedding guest territory.
Unspoken rule: late “maybes” cause way more stress than honest no’s.
Make it up to us with a 1:1 dinner before / after!
2) plus-ones aren’t automatic
If your name is the only one on the envelope, I can guarantee you that’s intentional.
Just because someone else followed the logic of everyone gets a +1, doesn’t mean we all have to.
It doesn’t mean we’re stingy - we’re simply managing space, budgets and family politics in ways you can’t see.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as also wanting to know everyone in the room will be in our lives forever.
3) your present matters way more than your present
The pressure to “cover your plate” is quite outdated now.
It’s definitely not something that we all expect. A thoughtful card, contribution you can afford, or simply showing up with warmth and enjoying with us matters way more than a number in an envelope. ✉️
4) RSVP dates exist for a reason
If you’ve been married before, you’ll likely be very insistent on RSVP’ing on time, because you know it affects:
seating plans
final numbers for caterers
wedding stationery
personalised extras
If you need more time to RSVP due to a very practical decision - please communicate it - your silence creates way more work than you realise!
5) we will remember how we felt on our wedding day
Outfits & presents all fade over time. As couples getting married, the best gift we can receive is being low-maintenance.
From not messaging the couple 24 hours before the wedding asking about parking, to not commenting on our wedding choices on the day - all of these can pile on stress / energy we don’t need on the day!
6) leaving early is totally ok - but don’t disappear
Kids, work, or just plain tiredness - leaving early is totally ok. A quick hug to say thank you goes a really long way!
Even though most people think - “ah, the couple are having too much fun, they won’t even notice we’re gone” - they very much will.
being a good wedding guest isn’t about getting everything right
It’s about kindness & awareness - it’s a really meaningful moment in someone else’s life.
And to our guests - if you’re reading this - we’re just really glad you’re there 🤍